I’ve been playin nba 2k14 way too much. I’ve been addicted to all the game modes from my team, association mode,& my player. But, you know I feel like my current crush, she likes me. I can’t really get a lot of attention from the other girls at my job. Decent attention from some. But, other than this girl that likes me, denisse gives me the most attention. & her actions & words are similar to the girl that likes me. I’m planning to eventually asking her out, but I guess I need to know what I’m getting myself into. She is young, real young. That’s a good & a bad. She still has time to get even more pretty. But, she does seem a bit immature. But, that could just be her personality. Her personailty seems to resemble Stephanie honestly. It’s odd, she says odd things. Her lips, no complains her other than her eyes, it might be her best physical quality. Her lips are probably the biggest thing on her. Her smile is just pleasant. No ass. No boobs. Her personality is very charming, hard to ignore. She is small, real small. She is tiny to the point I question me liking her. Comments about her shoe size to her height are always brought. At this point, I would compare her to a smaller Stephanie. She has the looks. But, doesn’t have Stephanie’s huge ass & boobs. Both have a great/annoying personality. Stephanie has the not that great stench about her. Stephanie has Antonio who honestly, at times is both good and bad. She’s a single mom, but tony is so cool. I never thought I could love another person’s kid, but he’s adorable. It may be wrong but, I actually could see a scenario where the two become friends thus creating a big 3 again.
Am i a fool?
I believe i am.
Who lets their heart play with them?
In the end im a broken man.
I thought i had a crush again.
But at the end,
its the same again
The fool was crushed into oblivion
Rejection is such a pain,
that can be easily be explained
But as a friend,
this emotion must end.
Again i just made another friend.
So i wont pretend to be more than a friend
Is this a recent person? Maybe Aj’s right & we do have an eerily similar problem.
I feel so mellow right now. I am still working hard to get Denisse. I hate yelling, or basically any kind of discipline towards myself. I am always like a perfectionist & any mistake I take seriously. It will sometimes never affect me until later on. I was working, falling asleep. & saw a black family. I knew I was in trouble. Things got bad, & she blacked out on me. I stay calmed. But what actually messed me up, right as she yelled at me denisse showed up. I was texting her earlier today. & she seems like a normal person. & almost flirty in some. I saw a coworker & learned his Saturday is available. I desperately wanna trade for it. I wanna trade my Friday, because I’m tired & I can’t deal right now. But, Saturday denisse is working. & I’d be working with her. Also, she’s working on Wednesday. I also find it odd that my managers once again managers constantly mess with me. I dunno, truthfully it takes a lot of energy out of me. Like with denisse, its ok. But when higher ups mess with me, it takes a lot out of me. & there’s always attention around me, it’s not something I always want. I’m also demoralized because I have to work tomorrow & I didn’t get my shift changed for denisse. One on one time with her…it might set me over the top. But, now I wish I was kidding but it seems like working with the girl I like, & the girl that likes me. Also, I don’t get why Everytime something related to denisse…the girl that likes me would show up. The trolling is real.
I got denisse’s number on Monday. I was so happy. I was actually really hungry, & asked her for candy. (I learned from Michael Scott from The office girls usually have some type of candy in their bags) she actually did have candy, but she ate it. I playfully complained to her. She got playfully sad. Later on, she came back from McDonald’s. & she had food. I playfully asked her for food. & to my surprise she gave me a bacon burger. I then joked that we are Cleary friends right now. Next should be Instagram, Facebook, texting buddies. & that’s when she slipped her my phone & I took hers. I got her number & a burger. It looks bright right now my future with her. So far, every detail has panned out. & the flirting, is great. I always second guess myself, but even I have to believe that this girl definitely likes me. & I’m happy for this oppurtunity considering the journey I had. Being with Sakeenah was like lebron in Cleveland. I liked Sakeenah right from high school. & I liked her from 2005-2012. I had ups & downs with her. But, at times she seemed like she really liked me. Father’s Day 2012 will always scar me, & to this day just thinkin about what happens makes me uncomfortable. Liking Stephanie was like lebron’s first year in Miami, losing to Dallas. Right now, I still love Stephanie.her personality & tony is what makes me want her more. I consider her my best friend. I never want to lose her, ever. In my head I feel that the person I want to one day marry, I hope they are like Stephanie. But, what changed me is what happened on New Year’s Eve 2013. Ever since Sakeenah left, Steph has been there for me. & I fell so hard for Stephanie. Despite her flaws, I really accept all of her for who she is. She’s amazing. There were times were it seemed she liked me back. But, despite flirting, I eventually choked again. It was an ugly choke. It’s only now that I am pursuing denisse, that Steph & I are acting like before she cut me off. New Year’s Eve I was invited by steph’s sister to go to the house. I didn’t go because Steph was grumpy & the pitbull hated me. That hurt. It ended 2013 for me. It was tough that I tried so hard to win Steph over, this was my best friend after all & I choked. That feeling was something I didn’t want to ever feel. It hurt so bad. That i loved her so much, & at times she started to not are about me at all. It’s why I started to heavily like denisse. Denisse when I first saw her, I thought she was cute. I didn’t pay her no mind, cause I assumed she had a man.when 2014 hit, it changed. & the way I interacted with her, I realized we were flirting, & we liked it. There is always a sliver of doubt I have in my head, but denisse is like lebron vs the thunder in 2012 & winning his first ring. I am so confident around her. & this flirting has gone to a new lever since valentine’s day. I remember I was with Steph most of the day & tony. I love those 2 so much. But, I went on to see if denisse was working. When I saw she was, I went to get her donuts. I wanted to buy her heart shaped donuts, but they were gone. I bought her munchkins. I then waited to see her. I was so nervous I thought back to all the times I failed. I texted Steph & she gave me the courage. I walked up to denisse, her being mean made me so comfortable, & I showed her the munchkins she had the biggest eyes, the sweetest smile, & the softest voice when she said “AWWW” & as I walked away she said “I Love You.” I’m ready to close with denisse.
I think it’s almost time to close with denisse. I’m surprised at how everything thus far has been working out. On valentine’s day, I was nervous, so nervous. I flashbacked to every single time I choked. But, with encouraging words from Steph. I did it. Also, for some reason, Jonah hill in 21 jump street helped. I saw denisse working. I instantly went to dunkin donuts. But, the donut I was lookin for wasn’t there. I bought some munchkins & headed to work. I was nervous as I waited in line to see her. As, soon as I saw her she was mean to me, that meanness actually made me very conforable, even though everyone was starring at me. I tell her “shouldn’t you be nice? It’s valentine’s day.” She says “hurry up I have a line.” I slyly showed her a dunkin donuts bag & told her “even though I hate you, I got you this” Her facial reaction changed. I always thought she was playfully mean with me. She then turned to the sweetest girl ever. She said “awwwwwww” & I was walking, I know she didn’t really mean it but she said “I love you.” That made my day. Maybe my weekend. Yesterday, I saw her. Walking through my job, I swear mostly everyone looked pissed off….except her. I walked through & waved at her. She still had the sweetest looking face to me. I saw she was free later & quickly made an excuse to see her. When I got there, she was so nice that it threw me offguard. She told me “thanks for the munchkins.” & I dunno what to say. She sounded so sweet, & kind of shy. I’m ready to get her number next time I see her. But, this all looks like a positive sign.
I dunno why, but the one movie, that makes me always want to be with Steph is Friends with Benefits. The natural chemistry that mila kunis & Justin timberlake have always remindse exactly how me & Stephanie are. Stephanie is my closest friend, & that movie remids me how much. I care about her. Steph called me today, & she was crying.
I hate crying. It’s one of those things I try to ignore cause it makes me feel uncomfortable. She was crying over her job, & the problem the snow has caused to her car. At the same time, I really like denisse. & I’m so hungry & desperate to
Close & shut the naysayers down. But advice handed to me makes sense. I shouldn’t just use the holiday as an excuse to make a move on denisse. I should do it progressively. Time it better. Also, more people at my job are finding out now, which can only make more pressure on myself. I don’t know what I have to do to learn to close. But, I have to learn quickly. At my other job, apart everything is known about me.’I’m not mysterious anymore. Now, the one last thing is..my lack of ability to close with girls. This has happened the last few times out. I already have an ability to open. My biggest struggle is closing. It doesn’t matter what the girl,
I choke if I perceive there to be a chance that the girl likes me. I am so conflicted because I really like denisse she’s so pretty. But, Stephanie I love her. I care about her, I’d do anything for her.
Right now, to be complete honest with myself. I only want 2 girls in my life. I either want Stephanie or my newest crush Denisse at my job. Work was interesting today. For weeks I had a feeling my other coworker liked me. She came up to me today while “high” & told me she liked me. I was startled, & I do not like her back. But, this led me to telling my coworker who I really like. I am confident with valentine’s day coming up, & with her working Saturday, I am so happy to see her. But, the last few nights, there’s something abt Stephanie that catches my heart, rather than the looks of my coworker, Steph is a person I hold close to my heart. She is the bestest friend I ever had, I would never want to lose her. I read a Facebook post she put up a few days ago for the first time..& I can’t even imagine what to say. It was a heartfelt summary of her life..& I just wanted to hug her. The summary did thank god..so it was a happy summary. Tony & I also have this close bond, a bond that I think very few have. It’s a tough decision on my part denisse is 18 while Stephanie is 22 with the best 4 year old ever. Signs are looking that denisse actually does like me. But, Stephanie, she’s my best friend, & there is no one I love more than her.
I really am infatuated with the girl at my job Denisse. she’s so cute & pretty. & I get the feeling that she likes me. But, I think I am still in love with Stephanie. Not what I want cause I’m turned my attention to the girl at my job. But, Steph got into a minor accident today. & I didn’t know how to react at first, but I was worried but didn’t show it to her. When she told me that she was crying, I felt bad. I’m glad she’s ok, but she had a very rough day, & I just wanted to make her feel better. When I saw her, she’s still not as pretty to me as other girls, or denisse. But, she makes up for it because around her, I have a warm feeling around her, I feel right around her. I don’t know how to deal with this. I like denisse to move on from Stephanie. But, there’s something about Stephanie that makes me want to make her happy.
I think the thirst is real. The girl at my job is so pretty. But in the past 2 weeks I’ve only seen her 5 minutes. This is unacceptable, & I’m going crazy. I need something to fall in my favor. I almost have to hope I work in the same area as her & at the same time. If I start to run out of time, maybe I ask people for help. I’ll probably ask for her Facebook or I really like this girl, but I still I’ve Stephanie. But, nonetheless I want the girl at my job.
I can’t sleep, & I realize the truth about myself. I like 3 girls right now, but in actually it’s only 2, but I only want 1. I am so worried that Sakeenah is coming back. & I was panicking, but I remember how bad she hurt me. & I know I can’t trust her. Everytime I trusted her, I got burned badly. I always have the feeling she’s gonna leave again, So I prepare for the worst. At the end, I have some really bad unresolved issues with Sakeenah, but I don’t like her anymore. I really like denisse. She’s pretty she flirts with me. But, I started to only really like her cause Steph hurt me, pretty bad also. I wanted to get over her bad. So, I kinda forced myself to like her. But, i answered a question in my head that makes it all easy. If I could only choose to be with one of the people. I’d pick Stephanie. I love her she’s my best friend & I’d do anything for her.& she cares about me too. She started to be friends with me again. But, the problem is Sakeenah hurt me so bad, that I tend to get so close to Stephanie. Like Sakeenah scares me. But, in recent weeks, it’s been so obvious that I like Stephanie. The truth is the reason I know I still like Steph is, I was on sak’s page & saw pics of Steph. & I couldn’t keep my eyes off of Steph. & if I’m drinking with Steph & sak, I dunno how I’ll be. I don’t want to admit I’m in live with Stephanie. I don’t wanna admit Sakeenah hurt me. It’s things I’m trying to hide. That’s what I’m looking at right now.